Archive for the Uncategorized Category

Misters Body, Potential and X

Posted in Uncategorized on March 27, 2012 by Olivia A. Harris

Misters Body, Potential and X.

Advertisements

Frilly Knickers

Posted in Uncategorized on March 24, 2012 by Olivia A. Harris

Frilly Knickers.

Car Horns & Alarms….

Posted in Uncategorized on August 20, 2011 by Olivia A. Harris

About 2 a.m. last night (or should I say this morning) I was dragged out of my sleep.   I wasn’t awoken by a nightmare or the urge to use the bathroom or even the telephone.  It was the sound of two toots of a car horn and the blast of music coming from the offending car.   Yes, I cursed at the sound.  I even felt like peeking through the blinds with one eye half open  and my hair looking like family of squirrels were redecorating and yelling through the window, “shut f*#&-up!”  But, I’m a lady and will only think and never utter such thoughts!  But, even a lady can get pissed by inconsiderate disruptions to her peace.

I don’t understand why so many people think a car horn is a form of communication.  When you drop your friend off or are picking them up, why not get out of the car?   Why not use the personal touch and speak to that person directly?  You can even use your cell phone if you must!  But, the car horn?!   I don’t think so.    Why do I need to be involved in your ‘discussion’ with your friends via car horn in the middle of the night?  Guess what people?  When you toot-toot that car horn it isn’t just your friend who hears it.   Everyone does.

Likewise with your car alarm.  I can accept a car alarm accidently going off.  But, I don’t think the accident should happen every ten minutes over a two hour period.  When that happens it defeats the whole purpose of the alarm!  As a matter of fact, if I were a car thief I think I’d scout-out a car where the alarm kept going off because after the third false alarm people stop paying attention.  And if the police are called, believe me it won’t be to ‘save’ your car.

So, people, let’s go back to basics:  car horns and alarms are designed to be used as warning systems.  They are not there as a way of telling your friends good night at 2 a.m. or to be used as an alarm clock to make sure you wake-up in time for your favourite show.   They are loud, obnoxious noise-makers designed to say “watch-out everybody” or “get your hands-off me!  You don’t own me!”    When used for any other reason, all you’re actually saying  is, “f *ck-you! ”   

Good night!

-mantha

“No shirt, no shoes, no freshness of oral and overall body odour, no service.”

Posted in Uncategorized on August 9, 2011 by Olivia A. Harris

Years ago I worked in a department store to pay my way through university.   To this day, my most vivid memory remains the day I signed my contract.

What stood out in the document was the section on the dress code.   Actually it was the bold type face addressing body odour: “both men and women are required to maintain freshness of oral and overall body odour while on the floor serving customers.”   I admit I wanted to laugh when I read that section.   I always took it for granted that with the exception of those whose circumstances placed these basics beyond their control (eg: homeless and those with glandular issues), not smelling offensive was part of basic social grace and etiquette.  Well, guess what?   It isn’t!

I work with the public from Monday to Friday.   Due to the nature of my work I am privy to the extent of peoples’ financial resources.   With that said, it is too often that I come across people I can smell before they reach the threshhold of  my office door.

These people are not suffering any illness or misfortune.   They aren’t coming in from a hard day of physical labour or the gym either.   They just have not washed.  And adding insult to injury is the fact that I know they  can afford to buy soap and use water every day.  Yet, for some reason they choose not to.  

 
I would like to know why.  Why do these people invade my work space expecting courteous service and a handshake when they have not shown me or my colleagues the courtesy of taking care of their hostile and aggressive body odour?  On more than one occasion I have watched colleagues come close to fainting after holding their breath too long while trying not to inhale the fumes coming off the client they were serving.     Personally, I have actually vomitted after such an encounter.

 
I admitt that from  from time to time we all smell a little less than fresh for whatever reason.  But there is a limit of decency on this.  When smells from your body and clothing reach the point of being described as pungent and the vapours are visible, it’s time for good scrub.  It’s time for soap, water, your body — entire body —  and clothing to become acquainted on very good and prolonged terms.   No, quick  “Soap meet Body, Body meet Soap.  Now say good bye.”  I’m talking about a very long and intimate encounter …

But, until that day comes I’ll just have to keep holding my breath waiting to see signs everywhere that read:   “No shirt, no shoes, no freshness of oral and overall body odour, no service.”

 

Dear cancer … I hate you.

Posted in Uncategorized on April 9, 2011 by Olivia A. Harris

Dear Cancer,

I am writing this open letter to you to let you know I hate you.   Admittedly those are harsh words to express to anyone.  However, they are true.

Cancer, you are the proverbial unwanted guest.  You enter into the lives of people uninvited.  When they politely ask you to leave, you refuse.  When they aggressively attempt to evict you through radiation and chemotherapy, not only do you refuse, but become nasty.  You behave as though you are entitle to live in and abuse the body of your unwanted host.  You spread your belongings  throughout that person’s body without regard for the damage you do.

By the way, Cancer, do you have any concept of how much hurt and destruction you cause?  I have watched you shrivel my mother’s once health body.  I have watched you crush her and my father’s dreams of retiring together this year and enjoying more travel in the Caribbean.  You have even managed to undermine the confidence of the surgeons who worked on my mother in an effort to evict you from her body.

Cancer, you are truly a nasty, evil and most unwanted of guests.   I can honestly say, I hate you.

– Mantha

If I Offended Anyone, Then, I`m Sorry …

Posted in Uncategorized on June 12, 2010 by Olivia A. Harris

During the last decade I`ve noticed an emerging trend that I will call the `non-apology` (excuse my making up words). The non-apology not only lacks the sincerity of a true apology, it doesn`t even make an effort to look like the real thing. And oddly, it seems to be used most often by those who without question should be sorry.

Celebrities and public figures are among those that are most often guilty of the `non-apology`. I could site many examples from Janet Jackson`s `nipple-gate`to Mel Gibson`s drunken anti-Semitic rant and let us not forget Michael Richards` (aka `Kramer`from Seinfeld) whose graphic racist `comedy act` could have possibly shocked even the staunchest Klan member.

The behaviour of these people was wrong by the accepted social standards of the communities that we and they live in. They did offend many people. And they knew it. And for that reason only, their PR people and handlers rushed to develop strategies to manage the resulting crisis.

If they obviously offended the Black community, the strategy seems to be three pronged: 1. call Jessie Jackson; 2. if you can`t get Jessie, call Al Sharpton; 3. if numbers 1 & 2 fail, just get a Black Baptist Minister who is willing to appear on television with your offender (sorry, `client`).

If the faux-pas doesn`t fit into the above description, then it`s all about rehab! These days a person can be rehabilitated for just about anything. From what I`ve seen, all it takes is roughly a month to be cured by therapists seemingly qualified in areas neither I nor anyone else recalls seeing in the syllabus of any recognized university.

The final part of all strategies (after the religious or medical intervention) is the television apology. I imagine this should be the most important part of the plan as its aim is to directly connect with the offended parties. Unfortunately, for me this is the point where everything falls apart. This is the point where the truth comes out:

“… and if I offended anyone, then, I`m sorry …“

A small fortune and several hours were spent because a lot of people people were upset by the behaviour or actions in question. However, the `if` and `then` of the statement are what make the apology an insult to those offended. Hence, the `non-apology`.

So, why not just apologize and at least pretend to mean it?

– Mantha

Here we go!

Posted in Uncategorized on June 10, 2010 by Olivia A. Harris

Well, this is my first blog and attempt at blogging.

I decided to give blogging a try because I have a lot of opinions and thoughts on many of the things going on in the world today. From the financial chaos in Greece to people letting their children run wild in public, I have something to say!

I hope that if only one or two of you out there read this, you’ll drop by from time to time to see what I’m up to. What I’m thinking. Perhaps you’ll even drop me a line to share your views with me. And I promise not to have any hard feelings if you disagaree with me … or at least I’ll try not to!

So, here we go!

– Mantha